St. Patties Pancakes

 We invited 4 of our family friends over to have pie with us for Pi Day! I know how to make 2 kinds of pie and I made both of them for Pi Day. Chocolate Pudding Pie and Apple Pie. 

On St. Patrick's Day Tai picked out her green Tinkerbell costume to wear and just me and her went to Story Time at the Library. She is the most indecisive little thing too cause after we found all 12 hidden shamrocks around the library, she took FOREVER trying to pick out a prize! And then for dinner we had our green pancakes, green milk and green eggs. After Dr. Seuss Day earlier this month Tai had requested green eggs and this is our third year making green pancakes. Except this year was the first time I made them without using pancake mix OR green food coloring! I put spinach in them.

And then topped them off with cool whip and Lucky Charms marshmallows, cause BALANCE!

No tricks, just treats!

Jr. Jazz and Daddy Dates

Kasen finished his first season of Jr. Jazz and got to play with Knox and Camden on his team. I even saw him make a couple baskets during practice! They played 8 games, but it seemed like the more games they played, the less Kasen cared about getting the ball.

He loved getting that gold medal at the end though!

This was during game 3, about the time that everyone at the game heard Kasen shout, "You're too close to me! Don't get that close!"

A couple times he had run down the court yelling, "Pass it to me! Pass it to me!" so Kyle told him instead to go stand by the black box on the floor to get open or get the rebound. Kasen is VERY literal and went and stood exactly on that black box and didn't move! So then Kyle had to tell him he could leave the box. Haha

Kasen has the hardest time focusing his attention and watching where his wandering thoughts take him is so comical sometimes. He has since picked out new shoes that he insisted have lights. So now he is also distracted by running hard enough to get his shoes to light up!

Doing Jr. Jazz included 2 tickets to a Jazz game so Kasen got to go on a special date with Kyle. That morning Kasen told me he wasn't really into basketball anymore, but when he got home he was talking about his best day ever! He loved it.

Last month Tai got to go on a special daddy daughter date at the Gotta Dance Studio too! They got to play games together and do a cake walk and eat treats and dance. Tai was in heaven. She got to pick out a rose and even came home a drew a picture of her and Kyle on their date together.

Lucky Lucky kids to have such a great dad! He loves them enough to go to a dance, pause his Jazz boycott to spend time with them AND even take a picture!

They have a fairly good mom too, cause while they were on their date, Kasen and I did a couple more of his science experiments. Salt bridge and floating egg. Still need more practice with following instructions... We had to start over quite a few times!

Faith

 Kyle and I got to speak in sacrament meeting again today! About faith. And all the feminists that complain about women not being equally represented in the Church would be so proud because all the quotes I used in my talk were from women. Al Carraway, Sheri Dew, Michelle Wilson, and Emily Belle Freeman. I just loved all the extra studying I got to do about faith. And reading Emily Belle Freeman's book, Even This again.

The Faith to Ask and Then to Act -Eyring

-Faith is a principle of power.

-Faith leads to action. Spiritual preparation

-Faith is not blind. It does not require you to abandon reason. 

“Miracles do not produce faith…although miracles often confirm one’s faith.” BD

Facts and evidence also don’t establish faith, but can confirm it.

-Faith comes by experimenting, doing, obeying, trying, following, acting. Faith grows as you become better acquainted with Him. It’s a cycle of choosing faith, testing it out, then your faith growing.

-Faith makes failure meaningful

-Faith is the opposite of fear

-Faith turns despair into hope. 

-Faith is trusting, assurance, confidence. What if= fear, Even if= faith

-Exercising faith leads to revelation. How we better hear His voice

-Faith is more than knowing there is a God, it is knowing God. 

-Faith is letting God be God. Not just believing in Christ, but believing Christ. And knowing that He could heal, when it is the best thing for us in the eternal scheme. He’s in control.

-Faith is a choice. Desire comes before faith. Do you want to believe?

-Both faith and doubt are not knowing. So what is the difference? Intention. Do you intend to challenge what you already believe or do you have a desire to learn? Are your questions leading you to God or pushing Him away?

Faith probably means something different for each person, but for me, faith is trusting in God EVEN if things aren’t working out.

A couple years after Kyle and I were married Kyle graduated from UVU and had started the police academy. He had been applying for any departments hiring in the area and was offered a job before even finishing the academy. He wondered if he should take it because it was animal control and he wanted to be on patrol. But that same week we had been called and asked to serve in a BYU YSA ward for 1 year, so Kyle did take the animal control job because it happened to be the perfect work schedule for serving in the YSA ward. We bought our first townhouse and moved closer to his work. But 2 months later he lost his job. The job that we thought was the right one because it allowed us to serve in the YSA ward. For 10 months he applied for other police departments (while working another security job) and was hired by Cedar City. It wasn’t where we wanted to be. We wanted to stay by family and I had a year left of school, but we moved to Cedar City! Luckily Kyle’s great aunt lived there and let us stay with her and her husband, while we tried to sell our townhouse, since we couldn’t afford an apartment and a mortgage. Huge tender mercy! I was finishing my last year at UVU and was driving down to Cedar City to stay with Kyle just on the weekends. I was also pregnant with Kasen. The housing market was a lot different then and it took us 6 months to sell our townhouse. Then we could rent our own apartment in Cedar City and just a couple months later, Kyle’s Aunt Bev ended up moving to Logan. They were there just long enough to help us when we needed it most. Once our townhouse sold, I stayed in my sister’s bedroom with her at my parent’s house during the week for the last 2 months before I graduated. 7 months pregnant. We only lived in Cedar City for 2 years before Kyle was hired with Unified and we moved back to Utah County. I don’t really know if there were reasons for us to be in Cedar City. Back then it felt like things weren’t working out. Maybe we needed distance from our families, maybe it strengthened our marriage or maybe it helped Kyle’s career. But really, what was the point? There were other tender mercies too though. My little brother Josh, (not the one I talked about last time, that served his mission in Brasil at the same time as me) ended up coming to SUU for one year. The very exact same time that we were living in Cedar City. Again, I don’t feel like that is the reason we were in Cedar City, but it was a tender mercy to strengthen that relationship. And the whole experience taught me about moving forward with faith. Even when things seem like they’re not working out, they just might be working out. Now I can say with confidence that “sometimes it not working out is it working out.” -Al Carraway

 

1 Nephi 11:17 “And I said unto him: I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things.”

I too know enough. Deciding you know enough to move forward is what faith is. We don’t need to know ALL things to remain faithful. We know that God loves us and that He is good.

Pg. 115-116 the waiting place, God knows all along, but we don’t

 

“With sufficient faith, we will ask for direction with the intent to go and do whatever He asks. We will have developed the faith to know that whatever He asks will bless others and that we can be purified in the process because of His love for us.” -Eyring

 

“If we want to grow spiritually the Lord expects us to ask questions and SEEK answers over time. Questions do not signify a lack of faith or weakness. They are a precursor to growth.” -Sheri Dew

“There are times in our lives when answers cannot be found. The places where there are no answers become the catalysts for belief. The place of deepest asking is where the believing begins.” -Emily Belle Freeman

Holes in our testimony are necessary for faith to fill in. Waiting for answers to prayers is necessary for faith to fill in too.

“Life is designed to make us question. It is full of a series of events meant to define a soul. And those two questions that we all ask when life becomes uncertain- Is God good? Can He be trusted? - what if they aren’t meant to push us away from God? What if they are divinely designed to lead us closer to Him?” He wants a personal relationship. pg.127

“Maybe when I question it is simply a sign that my soul is longing to understand Him better.”

“Perhaps the purpose, for me, is gaining the understanding that sometimes it is simply our lot in life to have afflictions, and the lesson isn't in having the faith to get rid of them, but having the faith to endure them without bitterness or anger—even in the face of not understanding the why, because we understand the Who. I wonder, if I received everything I prayed for in faith, if I would begin to feel that it was my faith, not His will, that made things happen. Perhaps this is one of the reasons we don't get everything we ask for, even in faith. Because it's not our power that makes anything happen. We have no power. We simply turn over our hearts and will to Him so He can release His power in our life. And because it's His power, He uses it how He sees best.” I didn’t know why, but I did know Him and He loved me. -Michelle Wilson LDSLiving

Do I have the faith not to be healed? 

Will not getting an answer weaken my faith? 

How often are we blessed by prayers “not answered”? 

“Maybe the trial isn’t always about God trying to prove us or build our character- what if He is trying to help us discover His? 

What he has allowed you to go through so you might understand Him better?.” -pg.98

“Where will I turn? Where will I reach? What will I hold on to? 

When my answer to those questions is God, that is when life becomes miraculous.” Pg.128 That is what faith is.

Even This by Emily Belle Freeman

Pg. 28-29 “I can’t believe only in a God who gives exactly what I ask for.”

Pg. 49-50 I am so guilty of wanting to be in control, being too independent, needing to have a plan in place. Letting go and giving it to God is hard. But the point of having faith is to receive revelation, not get our way.

 

I know that God’s plan is perfect. I believe in the goodness in the gospel of Jesus Christ that blesses families. I have experiences with God here, I have experiences with God in the temple and I have experiences with God when I read the Book of Mormon. I feel closer to Christ when I participate in all of those things. I stay in the church because I feel much more hope than heartache, I see much more light than darkness, I have found more answers than questions and I get to be surrounded by way more good people than bad. They help inspire me to become the best version of myself.

I know that Jesus Christ lives. He is our Savior and having faith in Him and His promises will bring more hope and happiness than putting our faith in anything else.

TroubleMaker

 Kohen is a grade A Troublemaker! Capital T. Our chairs have to stay on our tables, our stools have to stay on the counter and he climbs over the back of the couch. He knows how to shake the baby gate open, use his teeth to pull caps off of markers and when he finds colored pencils he uses them to color on my walls. He knows how to open and unpack the freezer, take the handles and lid off of his sippy cup to spill his milk everywhere. He loves to stand right next to you and just fall on top of you. "Timber!" He also loves opening the oven and happened to do it while I was preheating it to make cookies. He ended up burning his hand and kept telling me it was, "hah" in the saddest way ever. Then not even a couple days later we were at the park and he got kicked in the head so hard while Tai was swinging.

His new favorite word to say is, "boo" for boots. If we are not sledding and you see him wearing these boots, then it is because he put them on himself. He asks for them first thing in the morning and when I take them off to change his diaper he puts them right back on. Keeps his feet nice and sweaty!

He is so easy to get to laugh, but also has mastered a classic Tai angry glare face too!

Kasen earned another beanie baby at school this year for knowing more sight words! He picked out this squid that he loves holding by the arms and spinning around. He and Tai had lots of fun playing Ocean the day he brought Squiddy home.

On Sunday we had family dinner at Dad's house and since it's Mom's birthday month she chose to make everyone food from Argentina for her birthday and showed us so many fun things from her mission there. I love how much she loved her mission and the way she talks about it. The food was super yummy too.

It was the same Sunday that Tai shared her testimony in Sacrament meeting for the first time too! She wanted to go up in December, but when we got to the pulpit she got too nervous and we left without saying anything. This time she wanted to go up and she did it! I was so proud of how brave she was!

"I know Jesus died for us. I know Jesus was baptized. I know that Jesus loves us. I know we're His children. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

She is so sweet.

-Kohen holds on behind her and they play train. Best big sister

-We went to a funeral this week and when the second half of the casket was being closed, she loudly asked, "Is the body cut in half?"

Kohen's first time at the dentist and nobody had any tears or cavities! Woo hoo!

Our stake put on a 10 Virgins musical and Sydney got to perform in it. I really loved the show too. Each of the 10 virgins had a backstory and sang a song. One woman used her lamp to light the path for others, one compared her lamp to others, one didn't light hers very often and just used it for decoration and Sydney's character accidentally broke her lamp, but remembered the one person that could fix it, etc. Sydney is SO talented and I had chills during a couple of the songs. It was powerful.

I've tried so many ways to make some yummy looking chocolate chip cookies. I've tried melted butter, room temperature butter. I've chilled the dough, I've not chilled the dough. I've tried recipes with cream cheese, vegetable oil and shortening. The baking soda isn't expired and I've tried adding more flour. They never turn out!

But bagels... I can do bagels! Heidi gave me the best bagel recipe ever and I am in LOVE! They are so good.

February in Utah

 The day after we went to the zoo we all went sledding! And Kohen was all about it this time. If I didn't give him a turn on the sled soon enough then he's start scooting down the hill himself.

I will say Tai made this dirty, nasty icicle look good. Exhibit C of why my kids get sick; behind carrying chicken nuggets around at the park and putting barf buckets on their heads.

Between our day at the zoo and sledding, our cheeks had never been so red and wind burned. Being cold was worth it to see the little smile on Kohen's snotty little face though. Even though he broke one of my snowman mugs after we had some hot chocolate.

ONE WEEK later we were playing at the park, sunny and warm as ever. Kasen preferred reading the DogMan book he picked out at the library that day. He finished the entire book!

 Mrs. Wilde introduced him to DogMan after our last parent teacher conferences. He finishes his other work so quickly that he gets bored and distracts other kids so now he reads after he finishes his work. He was pretty excited to come home and tell me about 'Dogman' and how he's the only one that gets to read that book! He's already read quite a few of them.

He is still testing above the above average. Even with all his bouncing around and not being able to sit still, he somehow absorbs what people are saying and can answer questions correctly. His teacher had been trying a red dot/green dot chart for him with his chatting with friends too much at the carpet and I told him if he could have one day with no red dots I'd buy him a prize. Soon after he came up with a plan to sit at his table instead of the carpet with the class, and hasn't had any more red dots!

I love that he solved his own problem. And I did buy him a gold Pokemon card for a prize.

Tai is reading so well too! But my favorite is when she brings her Book of Mormon into my room to study scriptures with me. I even let her highlight.

Last weekend I got to visit Dakota's grave for the first time. It was the anniversary of the day he died and Kyley always takes her kids. This year she let us tag along on their tradition. We took the kids to each pick out something to decorate his grave with and talked about how we can show someone that we are thinking about them, love and miss them. As hard as it was not to keep the pinwheels for ourselves!

We also talked about not knowing why some sad things happen, but how we can still be happy knowing we can be with our loves ones again someday.

Earlier in the month I took EmmaLee out for her birthday lunch. My sushi buddy! Mom was even well enough since having Covid and pneumonia to come with us. Yay for being able to hug!