Pursuit of Happiness

"There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do."

 

This has been one of my favorite quotes for a long time.

My mom Annette has had this quote somewhere in our house (or car) for as long as I can remember and it is as true as ever!

 

I have been thinking about how it is that people are happy and I have decided that happiness is very much related to doing (in a balanced way of course).

Being happy takes work and effort, which can be hard for some people.

Happiness is not the easy way out.  You have to make it happen.

The feeling of having no purpose and getting stuck not doing anything or not caring is what I think leads to most unhappiness.  Becoming to comfortable with being in one place keeps us from progressing and moving forward.  Those people who don't want to try to do anything hard or want the easy way out will never feel fulfilled in their life.

A little bit of stress in life is good! It is what moves us to success.

The bad times we go through help make the good times even better and we will appreciate the happiness that we had to pursue in order to attain.  Our attitude towards trials defines our sense of joy.  We are to endure WELL. 
Deciding to see the big picture and focus on what is really important brings happiness. 

Having goals to work towards and accomplishing things that help us progress brings happiness. 
"The happiest people are those who do the most for others."
 

I believe that true happiness in this life can only be achieved by living the teachings of the gospel.

Living worthy to enter the temple is not easy sometimes, but knowing that that is our purpose in life can make it easier.
The path we choose to be on matters so much when we have somewhere we want to get to.

The blessings we receive from going to the temple are worth every effort and sacrifice.
Eternal life and exaltation,  comfort and guidance from the Holy Ghost, access to the Atonement through repentance, eternal families, strength and comfort to overcome trials, and knowing that you are a loved child of God are priceless!

The plan of happiness is just that, it's a plan of things to DO in order to be happy.

"Teach me all that I must DO, to live with Him someday."

 

Families are forever = FALSE

Families can be together forever = TRUE

Eternal families don't just happen.  They take a lifetime of sacrifice and effort to continue after this life.  Why?  Because they bring us happiness and that is worth it!  If someone doesn't meet the conditions of the promise of eternal families then God can't hold up his end of it.  That is why it is so important to help each person to become like Heavenly Father.

Believe that God loves you and recognize His hand in your life, then do what it takes to show Him that you love Him.  There is no opinion more important than His in your life.
Live what you believe, if not for God then at least for your own happiness :)

Am I a Feminist?

Ever since I can remember I have felt that I can and should be allowed to do whatever the boys can do.

I always wanted to learn and be trusted to hop on the horses and ride the four-wheelers whenever I wanted and my bucket list included learning to drive a boat and pull a trailer.

I felt capable and didn't think it was fair to be left out of the fun because I am a girl.

So this semester I filmed a caricature about girls not being allowed to do boy things.  While discussing our ideas in class about the videos we were making, my teacher asked if I had researched feminist ideas.

I have never would have thought to use that word to describe myself though.
Am I a feminist?

When I think of feminists, I think of crazy women who don't want to have a family or get married because they only want to have a serious and super successful career and would never want to destroy their perfect body with a pregnancy.

I also think of the women in the church that want to wear pants to church, serve 2 year missions and hold the priesthood just to prove a point.  I do not agree with questioning the church because sometime in your life a man treated you unfairly.

My "feminist" ideas do not cross over the line of my religious beliefs because to me God is perfect and knows how to run His church.  I follow what God reveals and know he does things in His way and in His time.  I understand God's given roles for both men and women in order to make His plan work. However, man is not perfect.  In the "secular" world I believe in society treating women (or any human) with equal respect.

This brings me to my second question of why do I want a bachelors degree so badly?

Every time I complain about school Kyle asks me that very question.

Do I want one to prove to everyone that I am capable?

I like to think that I have a better reason than that.

I want a degree so I don't have to worry about getting one if I need it later in life.  Things happen.  After having 3 kids my mom had to go back to school to finish her degree that she never got the first time that she went to college.

I believe that getting an education is important.  Continuing to learn is important, whether it is in a formal college setting or not.

I don't want to "stop progressing" after I become a mother even though I do believe that motherhood is one of the greatest, most important and rewarding thing a woman could do.

I want to teach my children first hand the importance of getting additional education, finishing what you start and be able to sympathize with them when they tell me how frustrating college is!

I am so excited to be a mother one day.  I choose to be a mother instead of pursuing a serious career because I want to.  Not because it seems easier than going to school and working or because I don't think I would be successful working.

I plan to give my life to the nurture of my children and helping them grow in the gospel.

I believe what I learned on my mission is to help me be a better mother.

However, even though nurturing is my primary responsibility, it is not my sole responsibility.  Parents are obligated to help one another with their responsibilities as equal partners.  I get to help Kyle provide, preside and protect and he in turn will help me nurture.
Understanding roles of men and women in God's plan is what makes life in a family so perfect, but it doesn't mean I can't play in the mud or get dirty once in a while :)
I want to experience everything I can in life!

Marriage Isn't For Me

I have been seeing an article shared on Facebook a lot in the last couple weeks and have been thinking more about how marriage works.

Last week we had a wonderful Relief Society lesson about the growing problems with pornography and chastity among women of the church and some great things were pointed out about building a lasting relationship.

1. Social Compatibility

2. Intellectual Compatibility

3. Emotional Intimacy

4. Spiritual Intimacy

5. Physical Intimacy (after marriage)

 

If you don't build up to these ways of connecting with someone and jump right to physical intimacy, the rest of the growth gets stunted and the whole relationship is weakened.

Satan will always imitate God's virtues to justify our sins.  If a relationship is built on lust (a cheap imitation of love) then it is being built on a sandy foundation that isn't likely to last.  Sexual sin warps peoples ability to feel and understand God's true love.

 

True love includes God and does not take your partner farther away from their Savior.

So, the foundation is important.  Wholesome activities and getting to know each other on the first 4 levels before marriage is important.

Keeping in mind that marriage is the beginning and not the end is important because it takes work to stay in love.  Couples need to continue progressing together.

 

 

So how does love last?

What makes a successful and happy marriage?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/seth-adam-smith/marriage-isnt-for-you_b_4209837.html

hit it right on the head.

Marriage isn't about you.  It is about making the other person happy.  It is about each person giving 100% to the care of the other.

If couples truly did everything to make the other person happy then there would be zero divorces.

Divorces happen because of selfishness.  That is the only reason.

Divorce happens when one or both person(s) starts caring more about pleasing themselves than their spouse.

I may not be a marriage expert, but I have a happy marriage in spite of being a child of divorce.

If you want a marriage to last then be committed to do what it takes to make the other person happy.  You can't control if they will choose to do the same, but you will never regret that you did your best to make it last.
Marriage is sacred and if you treat it like you want it to last then it will be the best thing that ever happened to you!

Know your spouse's love language

Plan weekly dates to go out together

Communicate about what you like and what you don't like

Keep your covenants
Treat them how you would like to be treated
The more you serve, the more you will love those you are serving (another reason Christ loves us to much) and the more they will want to serve you in return.
Marriage is ordained of God because he knows how much happiness marriage can bring and how essential families are to the eternal happiness of His children.
I love being married to my best friend and having someone to laugh with, cry with, someone who supports and encourages me in my goals and helps me be better.
I am so lucky.