March of Tooths

 The very same month that Kohen's first tooth has been growing in, Kasen's first loose tooth fell out! They did a fun little switcheroo. Friday morning while he was getting ready for school he started crying because brushing his teeth was hurting his tooth. Kyle let him know it was because his tooth was on his lip! Saturday morning he found a gold coin underneath his pillow. He showed me where it said 2000 on it, so I had to explain that that is the year the coin was made and show him where it also said "One Dollar"

He's also made up a joke that I think is so funny for some reason; Why did the duck eat the ducklings? Because they looked delicious! Haha

Besides growing his first TWO teeth this month, Kohen has also been standing up everywhere. He really likes hanging out at the gate to watch Kiwi come up to eat her food. And of course he finds any little piece of anything Kasen and Tai leave on the floor to put in his mouth. They are getting better about making sure to keep the bathroom door shut now though so Kohen doesn't go play with the garbage can. Most of the time his one tooth reminds me of the Evil Witch on Snow White, with her one tooth! haha

Tai Lynn has been loving to paint and she paints in the lines surprisingly well. She tells me about how she "arted" or is "artistin" and about how she wants to be an artist. It's my favorite.

This Minnie Mouse she drew is my absolute favorite too! We just need to help her figure out how to not bite her tongue or her lips when she eats and how to not kick her toes into things when she walks. She is always getting hurt somehow and crying about the various ways she injures herself. All her scratches always get blamed on Kiwi though.

We celebrated Pi Day with a chocolate Oreo pudding pie. (When I say we, I mean my kids, since I couldn't have any. #dairyfree) and we celebrated St. Patrick's Day/Erin's (the beanie baby) birthday with green Lucky Charms pancakes again this year. It was Kasen's first day back to school after his tonsillectomy. On our way to school that day we played I Spy, but only green things and Kasen said it was the best St. Patrick's Day ever!

-Kasen and Tai are both doing a new thing where instead of saying yes to things, they now say, "True." So,  "What, you lost you're tooth?!" True.

This month we also stopped to see the progress of the Saratoga Springs Temple for our monthly temple date. That day, on our way to Elkridge for Sunday dinner, Kasen and Tai had a 45 minute brainstorm session about how they could destroy Satan. Ideas included, but were not limited to; him getting bit by a spider, a Minecraft sword, falling into a volcano, being eaten by a shark, riding a rocket to the sun, a chainsaw, running him over, get him stuck in concrete, get him on fire and step in him if he's little. The week before we had talked about putting on the armor of God by following Him, to protect ourselves from things that will hurt us.

This month I helped plan a baby shower for Marissa too. I made a hedgehog cheeseball and some cute little acorn cookies for our woodland theme. We also had scones with honey butter and trail mix. My favorite part was the baby face game again though! everyone had to combine Josh and Marissa's faces to see what their baby might look like and it's hilarious.

And Monday we all went to dinner for Mom's birthday.

The rest of the month of March included a couple park days when it was warm enough, but mostly a lot of TV still. Kasen loves watching it with Kohen though and comes up with ways to include him on the couch. Tai is always the first into his room when she hears him wake up from a nap and plays with him until we come get him out. The best little buds.

Choosing to Stay

 This year I have finally read quite a few of the religious books that I have been on my list and wanted to write down some of the thoughts and things that I've been learning and feeling. 

One of the books I read is called Faith is not Blind and it talked about how we can go from innocent simplicity, through complexity and then beyond complexity to the stage of informed simplicity.

Part of that is "Learning the essential skill to understand and live with competing true principles." For example, when the Church teaches about the important role of motherhood, but also to get an education, each person gets to decide what that may look like for them. You apply those principles personally and in a way to achieve the desired outcome that you want for your life. There is no one right way.

Each persons truth comes from their own personal experiences. So what is true for me will not always be true for the next person that has had different life experiences. In order to change a person's opinion they would need to be provided a new experience to base their opinion on. Or if their opinion isn't based on personal experience they'd simply need to be open to receiving more information (hopefully from a variety of credible sources) to form a new opinion. A person would need to be open to applying their heart to understanding, but usually people only see what it is that they are looking for. #guilty "Scholars in the philosophy of knowledge tell us that people tend to see what they want to see, especially when the evidence is ambiguous. Confirmation bias for example, is the human tendency to interpret new evidence as a confirmation of one's existing beliefs or theories." I read the book, When Mormons Doubt, which was super beneficial for me. I liked when it talked about how understanding and good conversations come from being open to the possibility of being wrong. I could be wrong in what I believe, but whether I am or not I will not regret the choices I have made that have led me to become the best version of myself and am open to learning more. 

I do believe that each person has good reasons, valid and unique to them, to believe what it is that they choose believe, whether that be religion or politics or how to parent their children or whatever, and because it may not be the same as me does not mean that either one of us is more or less informed than the other. It means that we have had different experiences leading us to what it is that we each believe and about what feels right. 

I believe in doing what feels right for you.

I am understanding more what it means for people to live in the "gray" area. It's not all black and white. It's not always all or nothing when it comes to living the gospel, or not living the gospel. Truth is complicated. I recently watched a video from Zandra Vranes on @sistasinzion and loved what she said about how even though we all learn the same gospel principles at Church, the way we each choose to practice those principles will be different because of personal revelation. And that we need to ask ourselves WHY we are choosing to do certain things. How is it leading us to Jesus? Where is the Jesus? What is the Jesus reason? Our goal in the gospel is to know Christ and become like him so we need to practice the things that lead us to that desired outcome, however that may be for each person and family. Children especially need to know the WHY of what they are taught. 

So I can believe that the Church is not perfect and makes mistakes while also believing that the fulness of Christ's gospel has been restored. I can believe that prophets are fallible while also believing that God still calls prophets to lead His Church on the earth today.

I can believe that living the principles of the gospel will benefit anyone's life who chooses to live them while also believing that the Church does not have some sort of monopoly on spirituality, happiness, hope or feeling the Spirit. Nobody should stay in the Church out of fear. They should be in the Church because they want to.

I can believe that God loves every single one of His children no matter what, while also believing that He expects us to keep His commandments. I can believe that living the gospel makes my life happier while also believing that those not living the gospel can still be happy too.

When I say that I believe in the Book of Mormon it is because I have had experiences with it and with my Savior through it. The facts and evidence just support and confirm my testimony, they aren't what established it. I have witnessed how living the gospel has benefited me by changing and improving my life for the better. It has brought me peace and happiness and the desired outcome that I want for my life.

And when I choose to stay in the Church it is not because I am not aware of the Church's history, the false doctrines that have been taught, the myths that tend to be spread, or have chosen blind faith and innocent simplicity. It is because I have had much more light than darkness, more hope than heartache, more answers than questions and much more good than bad. It's simply a choice. And what another person chooses for themselves really doesn't need to affect me because salvation in individual.

I have definitely been guilty of saying the wrong things and reacting the wrong way, but I have also come a long way in how I think and feel about certain things. Through study, prayer and trying to understand my heart has become softer. I have been reminded that my only responsibility is to remember my covenants to bear one another's burdens, mourn with those who mourn, comfort those that stand in need of comfort, stand as a witness of God, serve Him and LOVE no matter what. That is my job. Lift and lead others to Christ because it is He that can heal any wound.

I like what Jim Bennett wrote at the end of his A Faithful Reply to the CES Letter. "This church is also transformative because people have had a genuine, powerful experience with Jesus Christ, often through the Book of Mormon. I have seen, firsthand what the power of Christ can do, and I have encountered God in the Church in an intimate, personal, and undeniable way. I don't think those kinds of spiritual experiences require me to abandon reason or stop asking questions, but they keep me from panicking the next time I hear an accusation against Joseph Smith or the Church that I've never heard before."

Faith does not ask us to abandon reason. Sometimes it takes us beyond the boundaries of reason, but reason isn't just abandoned or ignored. So choosing to stay doesn't mean I am any less informed than choosing to leave means that a person is deceived. I assume everyone is just doing the best they can to feel good, do good and be good. To seek truth wherever they might find it.

Tonsillectomy on the Year Mark

When we took Kasen to his yearly well check visit in June his pediatrician mentioned that his tonsils looked big and asked if he snored or anything at night, but we figured we'd kinda watch and see. Well, after having Kohen and meeting our out of pocket max for the year, we decided to see an ENT to do a tonsillectomy now if it needed to be done. Dr. Robins told us that Tai's tonsils look fine, but sent us home with a pulse oximeter test for Kasen to wear a couple nights. Turns out that his oxygen was dipping low enough that they wanted to do the tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy! And Kasen had been counting down the days because we told him he'd get to eat all the ice cream and popsicles that he wants.

We woke up bright an early to be in Provo at 6:30 for his 8am surgery. He got to bring Chase with him and they also gave him a green snake that was looking for a home too!

When it was time for them to take him back he gave us a thumbs up and was gone for about 15 minutes when the doctor came to tell us that he was done and everything went great.

And they didn't even knock out his newly loose tooth.

They wheeled him back in to us back asleep again after he had woken up from anesthesia. The nurse said he was so cute and sweet when he woke up and looked at her then went back to sleep. A few minutes later he woke up more though and was crying with his shivering chin cause it hurt. I loved watching Kyle feed him slushy though, they are just the cutest. When the nurse asked Kasen if that made it feel better he cried, "Not much!"

Other than that he just kept saying, "I want to go home! I really want to go home!"

So we went home! And he hasn't cried since. He's been surprisingly more happy and awake than I thought he would be. But I know the worst part is still yet to come. The first hour we were home he had eaten 4 go hurts, 2 fudge pops, slush, apple juice and some jello though. I also bought apple sauce pouches, otter pops, and of course some ice cream!

I scheduled the surgery for a 3 day weekend so he could miss a little less school, but he had to get a Covid test on Monday and couldn't go anywhere else after that, before his surgery. I would have paid for a rapid test after school Wednesday, but the hospital won't accept the rapid test results. So stupid!

Today is actually the ONE YEAR anniversary of "two weeks to flatten the curve". On this day last year I was at book club talking with everyone about how Rudy Gobert had just tested positive. The next day everything shut down in a full on panic. It was about that same time everyone was talking about how Tom Hanks had tested positive for Covid-19 too. I had gone ministering the next morning, but by the afternoon that nights Relief Society activity had been cancelled, church had been cancelled, school had been cancelled and you couldn't find toilet paper to buy anywhere. And then came the e-mails. E-mails pouring in from every business you've ever done business with to let you know they were closing their store fronts and dine in options and canceling any plan you had ever made for the rest of the year.

I never paid much attention to the numbers. I felt like a real pandemic worthy of my worry, would be one I knew about without the news having to tell me. I didn't even know anyone that knew anyone with Covid until 5 months later and even though I know tons of people who have had Covid now, including most of Kyle's family, but I only know 1 person that has had to be hospitalized for it. I know that's not everyone's experience, but Kyle has been exposed numerous times at work and has never had it so how deadly and contagious really is it?

We went to the temple for the last time on March 13th and haven't been able to go back since. In June we got to start going back to church every other week for just 45 minutes and now we can go every week, but 2nd hour classes, meetings and activities are still done over Zoom and anytime anyone goes out in public we are still told to social distance and wear a mask. At least we can gather with more than 10 people now.

So that's what life is like right now one year later. Super grateful that my kids got to go back to school at the beginning of the year and that we aren't quarantined anymore. I will be so happy when masks aren't a thing anymore. Even though there's a vaccine now who knows how long we still have left until things are all the way open and back to normal.

Life

We went to Disney on Ice a couple weeks ago and it was so much fun! We had to explain to the kids that they wouldn't be ice skating, just watching ice skaters. They did a montage of different Disney princess movie scenes though and Kasen was the biggest fan. He was out of his seat cheering and dancing. They both really liked the Frozen part at the end.

Tai got to have a Wacky Wednesday to celebrate Dr. Seuss at preschool. We did her hair super wacky with ponytails and bows all over. She also got to eat green eggs and ham at school and told me that she liked it! I also had a turn having my hair done all wacky. Luckily Kyle was there to take all the bows out for me because Tai wasn't understanding opening the clips before trying to pull them out of my hair.

Kasen also got a special award at school that week for his critical thinking! Go Kasen! I've been working with him on writing his letters from the top to the bottom too. He writes them from the bottom to the top and I wondered if it was a left handed thing, but I was told it's not and needs to be corrected. So he's getting better.

A while ago Ashely and I decided to do a virtual race, but together in real life. Because real life things are 100% better than virtual anything and last year I didn't get to run a single race. We just ended up walking along the Jordan River Trail though because Ashley is PREGNANT (woo woo!) and hasn't felt up for running. We chose a cookies and milk set that was a run4love race, called you complete me because Ashley always makes me the yummiest chocolate chip cookies! It happened to be ironic though because I can't even drink milk or eat her yummy cookies right now #dairyfree

I'm deciding the whole dairy free thing isn't too healthy though. I weigh less now than when I was running 3x a week for 8 weeks. And I am blaming the plethora of canker sores on my bodies withdrawal from dairy too. Just because I want to,

The next day we went to a free play time at USA Gymnastics World and Kasen and Tai were running up the wall, swinging on the rope, walking on the beams and playing in the blow up obstacle course.

Later on last night we went bowling with Kyley and Lyndsey's families. Tai and Charly were the cutest little best friends all night. And Mark crushed everyone with all his strikes and mule kicking!

Photo recreation of a bowling night back in 2009. We'd go midnight bowling at Jack and Jills in American Fork and if you got a strike when you had a colored pin in front, then you got $5. That was life!

So much fun.