Do you ever feel the fear?
I don't know if I should call my feelings fear or awareness.
I don't know if I should call my feelings fear or awareness.
The word fear may have more of a negativity about it than what I am talking about, but recently I have been just more aware of how much danger there is in the world. Danger I've never worried about before.
Maybe it's a normal result of having children or maybe it's because I am married to a police officer and really am more aware of what kinds of crazy things could happen, but it is just amazing to me that I made it out of my childhood without any of the crazy, in the news type of story, things happening to me.
My parents put A LOT of trust in me by letting me go almost anywhere with anyone. Luckily I never got into trouble and I always told myself that I too would give my kids all the trust in the world (until they break it), but that seems harder to do now that I actually have children! How will I let them ever go anywhere alone?! Anything could happen.
ANYTHING!
(Another reason why Kyle won't let anyone other than family babysit our kids.)
ANYTHING!
(Another reason why Kyle won't let anyone other than family babysit our kids.)
One comment that I have always found odd when others talk about tragedy is that,
"You never think it will happen to you."
But why?
If
crazy things happen to people every day, why would they never happen to
you or your family? Of course they could happen to me. And I think about scenarios
all the time! Not to the point that the worry is debilitating, but more
of a what if... what would I do... how would I react kind of way.
What if one of my children dies?
What if they lock themselves in a hot car and I don't know?
What if they lock themselves in a hot car and I don't know?
What if Kyle gets shot and dies in the line of duty?
What if my car gets stuck underneath a semi truck changing lanes?
What if the car behind me doesn't stop when I am stopping?
What if someone runs a red light while I'm in the intersection?
What if the car behind me doesn't stop when I am stopping?
What if someone runs a red light while I'm in the intersection?
What if my child disappears and I can't find him or her?
What if someone steals my car while I'm pumping gas and my kids are in the back?
What if they drown at the pool?
What if they run in the road and get hit by a car or maybe a parade float runs them over?
What if someone steals my car while I'm pumping gas and my kids are in the back?
What if they drown at the pool?
What if they run in the road and get hit by a car or maybe a parade float runs them over?
What if one of my kids were sexually abused, assaulted or raped?
What if one of us became paralyzed?
What if we had a house fire and lost everything or were robbed?
What if one of my kids found a gun in our house and killed someone?
What if one of my kids choked and I didn't know how to save them?
What if that big giant earthquake actually happened?
What if our car slides off a cliff while driving in the canyon?
What if one of us gets terminal cancer?
What if our car crashes into a lake and I can't get the door open?
What if I brake my leg, fall off of a mountain while hiking or my son gets lost at scout camp?
What if I'm in a car accident and get pinned and one of my children is dying and I can't even hold them while it happens!?
What if a drunk driver kills my family? Would I be able to forgive them?
Could I outrun someone that was chasing me?
Does anyone else think about these situations as often as I do?!
What if I'm in a car accident and get pinned and one of my children is dying and I can't even hold them while it happens!?
What if a drunk driver kills my family? Would I be able to forgive them?
Could I outrun someone that was chasing me?
Does anyone else think about these situations as often as I do?!
There
are a million things that could happen. Bad things will happen to
everyone. Whether you are a good person or not.
Bad things happen and it does NOT mean that God doesn't exist.
It's just part of this experience we call life. Whether your parents get divorced or your husband loses his job or your car window gets smashed. We can't be prepared for everything, but we try. There is just no way to protect our families from all possible harm and worrying about it means that we suffer twice.
Someday I'll have to send my kids out on their own to learn and grow and experience life.
Sometimes they'll fall and their feelings will get hurt, but I hope I can know how to best help them get back up. (That's when having the Holy Ghost with me will be a blessing.)We teach our children that they can pray when they are lost or afraid and we teach them the right path to choose so they'll have the best possible chance for happiness.
Our job as parents is to teach them to be independent, self-reliant and accountable for their choices.
But will they be safe?! Will they learn what they need to?
We save extra money and store extra food and make fire escape plans and learn CPR, but what if?
Bad things happen and it does NOT mean that God doesn't exist.
It's just part of this experience we call life. Whether your parents get divorced or your husband loses his job or your car window gets smashed. We can't be prepared for everything, but we try. There is just no way to protect our families from all possible harm and worrying about it means that we suffer twice.
Someday I'll have to send my kids out on their own to learn and grow and experience life.
Sometimes they'll fall and their feelings will get hurt, but I hope I can know how to best help them get back up. (That's when having the Holy Ghost with me will be a blessing.)We teach our children that they can pray when they are lost or afraid and we teach them the right path to choose so they'll have the best possible chance for happiness.
Our job as parents is to teach them to be independent, self-reliant and accountable for their choices.
We save extra money and store extra food and make fire escape plans and learn CPR, but what if?
I would hope that I could be calm and prepared, that I could be able to give help instead of needing help. I would hope that my children would come to me with their problems and know that I would love them and try to understand, even when I don't agree with their choices.
I guess all we can do is prepare for the worst and then hope for the best by having Faith and Trust in our loving Heavenly Father, in His perfect plan and in His timing. I have to believe that things happen for some reason, no matter how awful they may seem. Even if it's just to help lift someone who will later be in the same storm you've already made it though.
When tragedy does come, He will send his love, comfort and peace to our hearts so that we can continue moving forward, all we have to do is ask.
So, don't let the Fear blind your Faith. We can't protect those we love from everything that could happen, but everything will be okay in the end.
If it's not okay, then it's not the end.
I used to worry about similar stuff a lot more when you guys were little. I would cry when I heard sad stories in the news and would ponder them for days. I think pondering those what-ifs and I think each incident that we experience ourselves that tests our reactions and ability to respond to a crisis makes us more strong for the next one, but it's important to have balance with how we react to all the what-ifs. One of my favorite quotes pertaining to the fear is, "A ship may be safest in the harbor, but that's not what ships are for". We are meant to live and experience life and we can't stay in the safe harbor or hold our kids hostage to such fears. We try to give our kids wings but stay close by in case they fall, and we teach them about safe practices. I know we taught you all about the secret word to know if someone was trying to trick you, but really, how safe would the secret word have been if someone were determined to kidnap you?? I just thank the Lord every day that we weren't tested in that manner and I pray that your best judgement will prepare your kids for living in this scary world.
ReplyDeleteI like how you said, "Our job as parents is to teach them to be independent and accountable for their choices." I think that's all that our Heavenly Parents are trying to teach us too. Im sure that They have all the same fears and awareness that we do. It's actually pretty neat to be able to understand how they feel to some degree by being parents. Mortal life is awesome.
ReplyDeleteBad things will happen. We've replaced home and car windows, nearly every kid has had an automobile accident. We've had broken bones, open wounds, lost kids at parades. We've had the anchors not hold us in as the storms of life kicked up and narrowly missed some big disasters, and actively taken some smaller hits. I've had a brother die in his teens, watched parents bury a child. Even more eternally concerning, we've seen those we love let go of the iron rod and head for the large and spacious building where they laughed and pointed at us working our way through the mist toward the tree. We've had near fatal illnesses, lost (great) grandparents, and struggled through our share of crap. As we are young we think we are bulletproof. As we get older, we find out we're pretty mortal. I think part of our job as parents is to do our best to be prepared for the inevitable panics that will come, but don't rob our kids of the innocent joys of being invincible.
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