Happiness

 My BFF Ashley recommended the book Real Moms (and let me borrow it!) and there was a part in it that was just what I needed to read right when I read it.

"I can be grateful for my own life choices, the ones that brought me to where I am and helped make me who I am, and still learn and find significant value in others' choices. Valuing others' choices doesn't meant I'm turning my back on my personal choices or crumbling or feeling inadequate. There are great benefits in really getting to know our differences: We can gain ideas of how to improve our own and our kids' lives. Our capacity to love increases as we feel increased sympathy towards others and compassion for situations we hadn't realized existed. We can grow in gratitude for our own situation. Our eyes are opened to more opportunities. And we come to recognize assumptions we have made about ourselves, our families, and our communities that we didn't even know we held. Seeing through different eyes the ideas we have attached to our marriage, family, religion, culture and identity allows us to "clean house" and get to the truth." -Lisa Valentine Clark

I think that maybe part of me had been feeling like if I am "too" supportive or "too" accepting of others' choices (contrary to mine) that I must not be as committed to what I believe, as I should. Like saying nothing means that I agree, in turn devaluing my choices.
I feel like I need to defend more than ever what it is that I do believe to reassure myself, so that I don't lose my faith. I start wondering if I'm wasting my time and want to live the gospel even more all at the same time. ALL the thoughts.

But this isn't how we should feel at all! Differences are good and trying to understand perspectives outside of our own is good. Being open to the possibility of being wrong can be very helpful in understanding other people, where they are coming from and finding the similarities that still connect us.

We are commanded to love our neighbors and treat others the way we'd like to be treated.
I believe that we should respect to any organization that leads men to act more righteously than they otherwise might. Other beliefs aren't totally false. Anyone living up to the best light they have will be rewarded for doing that.
Even among different beliefs, in trying to good and do our best, we are all in this together. Rejoice in righteous desires. Trying to find and know the truth is much nobler than not caring whether or not it even exists at all.

If you search the word "Happiness" on my blog you will see that I have written about happiness lots of times. And even shared this quote before:

"There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do."

The first time I read that quote was after my mom, Annette, had taped it to the glove box of our suburban.

I loved it so much that for my 13th birthday she printed a framed copy for BOTH of my bedrooms.

 Truth from back when I wanted to get married in the Manti temple. Although the Draper one hadn't been announced then...

But isn't this quote SO true?!

If you are living different from what you believe is right then of course you won't be happy.

THAT is why it is so important to know what you believe.

 And then just be true to what you feel is right for you.

It is hard not to care what others closest to you will think, or how what you believe and do will impact your life and the changes you might have to make, but if it's what you believe, then it is worth it to make those changes in order to be happy. Something everyone deserves.
Any sacrifice is worth your ultimate happiness.

To quote the Notebook, "Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do YOU want?!"
We all have to decide what is most important and where our priorities lie. So maybe the question becomes, "What does God want?" and deciding if I will trust that what He wants, is what is best for me.

The best part is that YOU get to decide what YOU want. You get to decide what is right and true for you. As long as it makes you happy, do it. And it you find out later that you aren't happy anymore then make the necessary changes.

It's not wrong for anyone to live true to what they believe is right. What is wrong is knowing what is right and true and then not following it.

Even though I respect others agency and their varying life choices because of it, I still want them to be happy.
"One of the most courageous things you can do is identify yourself, know who you are, what you believe in, and where you want to go."
That is the great test of life! Answering those simple and hard questions that will lead to our happiness. Wondering is there more than one way to be happy?
Realizing that my happy isn't the next person's happy and letting letting that be okay.
Because only you can find your happy.