Real Talk

 It has been a week. But then again, most of them are when Kyle feels like he needs to sign up for overtime on every one of his days off. So this week has been no different. The kind of week when I admit that I should not even be allowed to be a mom after about 6:30pm because all that happens after that is ruining my kids with emotionally scarring memories of me yelling at them. Cause why don't they ever listen to anything I say? 

And why does every toy they want to play with have to make noise? There is the singing elephant, the talking dog, the stupid trumpet toy and the music on the walker that all have to be going right when I'm trying to read scriptures with the kids. And of course Kohen knows exactly which straws to pull out of the kitchen drawer, that will whistle when you blow into them. For some reason we have more than one.

So I tell the kids that I am going to go put Kolt to bed and to please be quiet and get ready for bed. No sooner are Kolt's eyes finally starting to shut, that I hear what sounds like war cry of the banshees downstairs and pounding on the bathroom door because Kasen has locked Tai out of the bathroom. What an awful offense.

It's not the first time that day that Tai cried though. Because she cried when Kohen drank the last cup of homemade rootbeer that I had saved for her. Then she cried again when I gave her Sprite instead, and Kohen took a big drink of his water and then spit it right into her Sprite. Add crying to the list of noises I don't want to hear any more this week. And soda to the list of things I hate having in the house. Also, not the first time Kohen was in trouble that day. Because he knows how to unbuckle his car seat from the car. Meaning that I have to bruise every protruding bone on my body to climb into the third row of a Pathfinder to buckle it back up. Again. Begging him not to touch it. Along with his shoes and socks. But there he is peeling his socks right off his hot and sweaty little feet. 

The eternal argument with him is us telling him he is in trouble for not listening and him insisting that he will listen. K, but it's too late now because you already did not. "But I will listen!" As he looks you dead in the eyes and does the exact thing he is currently agreeing not to do... Like smashing Ritz crackers into a million crumbs and then bringing them to the living room when I clearly said they need to be taken outside. Please stop laying on top of Kolt. Please stop pinching Kolt's face. "But he's so cuuuuuute!" Please stop throwing toys all the way down the stairs. And put your underwear on! Please don't lock me out of the house or out of the car. And please just buckle up when you get in it so that we can be ready to go. We sat in the parking lot of Chevron for over 15 minutes one day this week waiting for anyone at all to just put on a freaking seatbelt! Just nobody touch anybody else. That is the rule.

3 days in a row this week Tai came home with massive holes in her pants. I asked her what she is doing to get these huge holes and she let me know that she likes to pull the strings. Awesome. So 3 pairs of pants in the garbage in 3 days. Kasen also has holes in every knee of his pants. (Mental to do list: see if Cat and Jack really will let us exchange his pants.) Kohen doesn't even have any pants to get holes in. Every time I dare go to Walmart, there is not a single pair of pants in his size anywhere is existence! (Mental to do list: find somewhere else to buy Kohen some pants.) Then there is Kolt. Never have I ever had a baby that peed so much in the night as little baby Kolt. I put him in a diaper too big for him every night and still there is pee up and down the front of him, every night. Will it ever stop smelling like pee?! His pajamas, his blankets, his whole entire bedroom. Have to listen to him scream in the dark while we do an entire wardrobe change at 4am.

Having kids is the greatest happiness in the entire world, but every so often they really make you question the truth of that. And also question what kind of person you really are, cause what kind of person yells at kids? But alas it has been one of those weeks! At least I got to shower today, that hadn't happened since Tuesday morning. Dinner tonight will probably be take out...