Choosing to Stay

 This year I have finally read quite a few of the religious books that I have been on my list and wanted to write down some of the thoughts and things that I've been learning and feeling. 

One of the books I read is called Faith is not Blind and it talked about how we can go from innocent simplicity, through complexity and then beyond complexity to the stage of informed simplicity.

Part of that is "Learning the essential skill to understand and live with competing true principles." For example, when the Church teaches about the important role of motherhood, but also to get an education, each person gets to decide what that may look like for them. You apply those principles personally and in a way to achieve the desired outcome that you want for your life. There is no one right way.

Each persons truth comes from their own personal experiences. So what is true for me will not always be true for the next person that has had different life experiences. In order to change a person's opinion they would need to be provided a new experience to base their opinion on. Or if their opinion isn't based on personal experience they'd simply need to be open to receiving more information (hopefully from a variety of credible sources) to form a new opinion. A person would need to be open to applying their heart to understanding, but usually people only see what it is that they are looking for. #guilty "Scholars in the philosophy of knowledge tell us that people tend to see what they want to see, especially when the evidence is ambiguous. Confirmation bias for example, is the human tendency to interpret new evidence as a confirmation of one's existing beliefs or theories." I read the book, When Mormons Doubt, which was super beneficial for me. I liked when it talked about how understanding and good conversations come from being open to the possibility of being wrong. I could be wrong in what I believe, but whether I am or not I will not regret the choices I have made that have led me to become the best version of myself and am open to learning more. 

I do believe that each person has good reasons, valid and unique to them, to believe what it is that they choose believe, whether that be religion or politics or how to parent their children or whatever, and because it may not be the same as me does not mean that either one of us is more or less informed than the other. It means that we have had different experiences leading us to what it is that we each believe and about what feels right. 

I believe in doing what feels right for you.

I am understanding more what it means for people to live in the "gray" area. It's not all black and white. It's not always all or nothing when it comes to living the gospel, or not living the gospel. Truth is complicated. I recently watched a video from Zandra Vranes on @sistasinzion and loved what she said about how even though we all learn the same gospel principles at Church, the way we each choose to practice those principles will be different because of personal revelation. And that we need to ask ourselves WHY we are choosing to do certain things. How is it leading us to Jesus? Where is the Jesus? What is the Jesus reason? Our goal in the gospel is to know Christ and become like him so we need to practice the things that lead us to that desired outcome, however that may be for each person and family. Children especially need to know the WHY of what they are taught. 

So I can believe that the Church is not perfect and makes mistakes while also believing that the fulness of Christ's gospel has been restored. I can believe that prophets are fallible while also believing that God still calls prophets to lead His Church on the earth today.

I can believe that living the principles of the gospel will benefit anyone's life who chooses to live them while also believing that the Church does not have some sort of monopoly on spirituality, happiness, hope or feeling the Spirit. Nobody should stay in the Church out of fear. They should be in the Church because they want to.

I can believe that God loves every single one of His children no matter what, while also believing that He expects us to keep His commandments. I can believe that living the gospel makes my life happier while also believing that those not living the gospel can still be happy too.

When I say that I believe in the Book of Mormon it is because I have had experiences with it and with my Savior through it. The facts and evidence just support and confirm my testimony, they aren't what established it. I have witnessed how living the gospel has benefited me by changing and improving my life for the better. It has brought me peace and happiness and the desired outcome that I want for my life.

And when I choose to stay in the Church it is not because I am not aware of the Church's history, the false doctrines that have been taught, the myths that tend to be spread, or have chosen blind faith and innocent simplicity. It is because I have had much more light than darkness, more hope than heartache, more answers than questions and much more good than bad. It's simply a choice. And what another person chooses for themselves really doesn't need to affect me because salvation in individual.

I have definitely been guilty of saying the wrong things and reacting the wrong way, but I have also come a long way in how I think and feel about certain things. Through study, prayer and trying to understand my heart has become softer. I have been reminded that my only responsibility is to remember my covenants to bear one another's burdens, mourn with those who mourn, comfort those that stand in need of comfort, stand as a witness of God, serve Him and LOVE no matter what. That is my job. Lift and lead others to Christ because it is He that can heal any wound.

I like what Jim Bennett wrote at the end of his A Faithful Reply to the CES Letter. "This church is also transformative because people have had a genuine, powerful experience with Jesus Christ, often through the Book of Mormon. I have seen, firsthand what the power of Christ can do, and I have encountered God in the Church in an intimate, personal, and undeniable way. I don't think those kinds of spiritual experiences require me to abandon reason or stop asking questions, but they keep me from panicking the next time I hear an accusation against Joseph Smith or the Church that I've never heard before."

Faith does not ask us to abandon reason. Sometimes it takes us beyond the boundaries of reason, but reason isn't just abandoned or ignored. So choosing to stay doesn't mean I am any less informed than choosing to leave means that a person is deceived. I assume everyone is just doing the best they can to feel good, do good and be good. To seek truth wherever they might find it.