Has Anybody Told You You're Beautiful?

Self Worth. Self Confidence. Self Esteem. Self Love.
I believe having these qualities are essential to a happy life. They are something that I want my children to have so I have been considering how I attained them myself. Especially at a fairly young age.
Usually the most common cliche I hear about high school is about how much everyone hated it and would never want to go back.
 I just find that super sad and wonder why that is a thing?

Because I'm not one of those people that hated high school. I'd be more than happy to go back, because I enjoyed it.

I know for most teens, they are in high school feeling like they just want to fit in, trying to make friends, wondering where they belong. They wonder who really likes them and are in awkward phases of figuring out who they are and who they want to be and sometimes they are mean to each other to try and make themselves appear more attractive for whoever they are trying to impress. They are trying to figure out if they even like themselves and are so critical about what they look like, their bodies and what brand of clothes and shoes they wear. (Even in 5th grade I remember wanting the Sketchers boots, and not the off brand that looked similar.) They are self conscious about everything they do and very self absorbed. It's a critical time for developing self esteem, but too many fall into the trap of thinking that everyone else needs to think they are cool and that outward appearances are everything.

But how and when do you learn that it's not?

How and when do we start being confident and happy in our own skin?
How do we figure out who we are and accept ourselves for that?
Well, there are two ways to do it. Learn through your own trial and error OR learn from the experience of others about what leads to a happy life. It will be a mix of both.

I know there are a myriad of places that people find beauty either within or outside of themselves, all of which should be appreciated. Any way a person discovers love of self is worth their journey! 
My journey just happens to be religion. My religion helps me love myself.

Besides knowing that my parents loved me, I attribute every other bit of my self worth and self esteem to what I learned from participating in the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I will forever be grateful for the things that I know and what I feel about myself as a daughter of a loving Father in Heaven. I know He LOVES me. Perfectly.
I got to learn all about my DIVINE NATURE and INDIVIDUAL WORTH at church. How wonderful it is to believe that I have divine potential and PURPOSE as a child of God and that He is there helping me to achieve it! That I have unique God given talents and gifts I get to discover.

Our eternal worth does not depend on what we look like. Each of us has eternal value and it is not conditional on our outward appearance.

"Heavenly Father has embedded innumerable, divine details in our DNA that compose a stunning picture of who we really are."

I know it is easier said than done, but the key really is to care more about what God thinks than about what anybody else thinks about you. No other opinion matters in the eternal scheme. His LOVE is unconditional. Self confidence isn't about trying to feel like you are better than other people, it's about not comparing yourself to anyone else.
"You don't need everyone to love you, just a few good people." -Charity Barnum

When I was growing up my Mom Annette would read the book, You Are Special by Max Lucado, to us. And luckily for me, the message stuck with me.

 "What I think is more important than what others think. The stickers only stick if you let them, if they matter to you.

The more you trust my love, the less you care about their stickers.

Remember, you are special because I made you and I don't make mistakes."

Spend time with God every day and He too will remind you how much He cares.
"In the absence of experiences with God, one can doubt the existence of God." -President Nelson

The gospel teaches me that our bodies are beautiful gifts!
"They were not created to be flaunted or praised or judged on subjective standards of attractiveness. They were created that we might fill the measure of our creation and have eternal life. They are necessary for our salvation and exaltation."

So when you start focusing on how imperfect and flawed your body is, instead make a list of all of the things your body can do that you can be grateful for. Replace those insecurities with gratitude.

For every negative comment you think about your body, remind yourself of 5 positive things that you like about yourself. "Fixating on our bodies distracts us from more important matters: our standards, our relationships with other people and our relationship with God."

Beauty fades. Styles go out. All of us WILL eventually get wrinkles, so why worry so much about the inevitable?

True beauty is who you are, what you give, the way you love. It's His light shining through you.

You're potential to do good in this world should give you confidence to stand tall and love yourself.

It truly is not what is on the outside, but what is on the inside that counts. Beauty lies within.

I believe that self-esteem comes from learning how to practice self control and the ability to successfully reach our goals. Meaning that we try again when we fall and fail. Work for what you want. Commit to the time it will take to attain it. "Nothing comes easy that is worth it in the end."
 I have learned that I am strong and I can do hard things. I believe in myself because the creator of the universe believes in me too.
True FREEDOM lies in self control; being in control of our choices, being in control of our appetites, free from addictive behaviors, learning to avoid things that would inhibit our freedom or happiness in any way.
We can learn the HOWs and the WHYs of living those higher laws when we study the gospel.

Try to see yourself the way that God sees you. Of infinite worth.
 Focus on uplifting and positive things and that is what you will begin to think and feel. Surround yourself with reminders of all the things that really matter, whether it's through quotes, good music, etc. and forget about the rest. (For me it was EFY CDs and Mormon Ad posters on my ceiling.)
Treat others the way you want to be treated and avoid those who don't do the same. Surround yourself with people that make you feel good about yourself. Not the ones that you feel pressure to change in order to impress and accept you. Good friends matter.
Believe others when they tell you that you are beautiful. Be the person to see that inherent beauty in them too.
Find ways to compliment people around you. Look outside of yourself and celebrate others successes with them.
All of us are children of God. Such a beneficial perspective for the kindness this world needs.

You are worth Christ's sacrifice. That makes you enough. Even when we have moments of not being worthy of His blessings, we are ALWAYS worthy of His love.

"Because Jesus Christ conquered all of the ugliness and pain in the world, life is beautiful. I am beautiful." 

-August 2019 Ensign

"Has Anybody Told You You're Beautiful?
You might agree if you could see what I see."
(song by Nichole Nordeman)