I Like Me Anyway

 This year I made a goal to read 50 books and the 50th book I read this year was Brooke Romney's 'I Like Me Anyway'. Chapter 4 is everything I hope I can pass on to Tai, my anthem to the world about what true beauty is about! Thank you Brooke!

"In todays world full of over processed, over done and glammed out women, I will be forever grateful that I was raised by a mother that was too busy with important things to scrutinize every inch of her body, to obsess about fine lines, to turn herself into something she isn't. Growing up we shopped together at inexpensive stores, where she taught me how to dress for my shape, look for items that were stylish, but on sale and buy only items I was sure I would wear. Brands didn't matter and clothes were fun, but never used at a status symbol. Our outings were enjoyable, but not excessive. I remember wondering why she didn't wear more makeup, get her nails done or wear heals all the time. I was aching to do all these things and couldn't imagine why she would pass up an opportunity to be more chic. Beauty was never the focus. It was assumed that we would look put together and situationally appropriate, but there was no expectation to be beautiful. My mom understood that beauty is subjective and fleeting and attaching ourselves to something so capricious will only end in disappointment. 

Today she is just as real. She smiles for pictures when she is make up free, and is confident and comfortable with who she is, a woman who has never defined herself by what she looks like, but what she gives. I had no idea what an impact to be her true best self would have on me. When budgets were tight, our funds weren't siphoned to spa appointments or department store make up. In early years of marriage I didn't feel pressure to spend money we didn't have to keep up a certain appearance. As my face and body have changed with age I see it as a natural occurrence instead of something to fight against. My mom taught me that being less than perfect is perfectly okay. My body is a gift and worth taking care of, but moderation is necessary. She showed me the fountain of youth is not found in a bottle or a needle, but in a childlike heart and genuine smile. Because of her I know real beauty is having a life purpose that allows you to brush aside the unimportant and that being anxiously engaged in good causes keeps me from searching for happiness in places it doesn't exist. A new outfit can be a great pick me up, but nothing takes you higher than knowing you are right with God. Smooth legs, long eyelashes and French tips have nothing to do with who I really am. What defines me is how I love, who I serve and what I create with this precious body and little time I am given. Her example has been invaluable. But when I lose my focus and get caught up in worldly thinking that diminishes my worth, I like to remember what the Lord said to Emma Smith, "Thou art an elect lady whom I have called.... Lay aside the things of this world and seek for things of a better." 

You were not put on this earth just to look pretty, or to slink in the shadows of insecurity. You were put here because you have something divine to contribute to this world. You have talents, gifts and ways of reaching people that no-one else has. So please don't immerse yourself in the thick of thin things. Don't stay quiet because the numbers on the scale aren't where they used to be, don't keep to yourself cause your home is too small or too messy. Don't hide your talents cause you don't have the right outfit to share them in. Don't hold back your smile cause you think your face is too wrinkly to spark joy. Remember your Heavenly Father put you here to share your message, your gifts and your light. 

If you need courage, ask Him what you have to offer, what He sees in you and choose to hear His voice. When no-one thinks you are special or exceptional, God does. It is time to embrace our whole self. Every inch that God lovingly created and pronounced as good. We must practice gratitude for and get comfortable with the remarkable bodies that house our even more remarkable spirits. It is time to start seeing ourselves as He sees us, whole, complete, and perfect, lumps, bumps and all."

Your body is an instrument to be used, not an ornament to be admired.

Your weight is the least interesting thing about you.

Your presence is more valuable than your appearance.

Focus on what your body can DO, not just what it looks like. Focus on feeling good, not just looking good.

My body is imperfect because I choose to live in it, not just work on it.

Positive body image isn't believing your body looks good, it is knowing your body is good, regardless of how it looks.

I'm not saying we shouldn't care at all about what we look like. Feeling good about our appearance brings confidence and self-esteem. We should take pride in presenting our best self. But it should be achieved within reason. Within realistic budgets, realistic expecations, and within areas we can control without feeling pressure to surgically alter what we look like. The way we look and dress does send messages about what is important to us, what we think of ourselves, and who we are, but it shouldn't be reflected as the most important part of who we are.

I have such a hard time understanding the whole Botox thing. Nobody needs Botox! Why are so many people willing to inject foreign, toxic, chemical, fillers into their face to look like a plastic bubble barbie? Why is society so afraid to age or appreciate the lines that come from a life full of laughing? Or appreciate the stretch marks from having our babies? Love your lines! And ask yourself if you would still be doing it if you knew you'd never again see another person?

Stop trying to look unnatural, like you aren't human. Bodies don't need upgrades. We need to love the bodies we've been blessed with by giving them more exercise, a little more sleep and probably a lot more water. But exercise shouldn't be punishment for something we ate. It is okay to age, it is okay to have stretch marks and it is okay that hair turns gray. Stop hating yourself over it when it happens to everyone!

Focus on overall health and wellness not numbers and sizes. Bodies are all different and it's okay. 

It's how you live that makes you beautiful.

Remember, God made you and God doesn't make mistakes.